The decorations and trees are put away now. The house feels simpler, a little quieter, and to be honest, empty. Not in a negative way..just less.
This is usually the part of winter where I pause and ask myself what I want to do next, not in a big, sweeping way, but in the small, everyday sense. What do I feel pulled toward? What do I miss when I don't make time for it?
I have so many things I love. Writing. Storytelling with pictures and words. Documenting the ordinary before it slips past unnoticed. Reading. Knitting. Making something with my hands just because I can. Sometimes the wanting of all of it makes me feel momentarily still, like I'm waiting for the right order or the right mood before beginning.
This year, my one little word is Release, and I'm starting to understand it less as letting go of things I love and more as releasing the pressure around how I love them. Releasing the need to do everything at once. Releasing the idea that there's a correct way to tell my story. Releasing the feelings of being scattered and stuck. Those feelings are a result of the pressure I put on myself when it comes to time. Not time management, as I have none of that. Instead of choosing one creative outlet at a time, I'm trying to hold them all at once, instead of giving myself permission to choose and pace myself.
Easing into it feels like the easiest place to begin. No perfection. No setup. Just noticing and letting the story unfold as it is, not as I think it should be.
Today I have an appointment with my rheumatologist because my right hand is swollen and I'm in a lot of pain. Not sure why, but I'm attributing it to cutting and knitting. I made my friends and their spouses, bowl cozies for Christmas and since each one has 2 pieces of material, 2 pieces of batting and I made 8 total, I cut out 32 squares and didn't really give any thought to arthritis.
My hand was not bothering me at all until Christmas day, when it was slightly painful. At first I thought it might be because I made a December Daily page and I did A LOT of cutting. What I wanted to use my Cricut and Canva for, turned into a muddle mess and stressed me out since I'm not an expert in either of those tools. My page was about the Jacquie Lawson Advent Calendar I get every year and day 15, Licorice Allsorts was a big part of the calendar which happens to be a big part of my childhood.
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| I cut each photos and each tag both inside and out. |
So, it felt good to play with paper again but my hand didn't appreciate it at all. Plus, I've been trying to finish Elliott's sweater, which I only have the collar to do now.
So, this is me in the after. After December. After the decorations. Making space for creativity and storytelling by releasing the standstill and choosing gentle forward motion instead. More thoughts, more noticing and more releasing the pressure I put on myself to either do it all or nothing mentality.
As always, thanks for stopping by.
